beginning

This morning I was afraid.  Afraid of lots of things, I guess. But, really scared of beginning.  Or, beginning again, more accurately. And, so I'm jumping in right where I am, in the middle of my story.

I am curled up on a couch, listening to the clattering of buttons, rivets & zippers as they turn in the clothes dryer.

My hair is wet from an impromptu dance in the rain after bringing the boys home from our night drive. I spent most of the drive watching the peculiar storm that sprang up and wondering if things will really be ok.  Wondering how to start again and whether or not I should. I turned down a field-lined road and the rain started. Spitting at first, then falling steadily, and finally pelting the windshield until the boys were shouting in the backseat and I started to laugh.

I pointed out a crowd of drenched cows and laughed harder.

Then, I looked across the fields to the impossibly bright, apricot-colored sky and my heart opened wide when I finally caught sight of it...here comes the sun